Office of the Torturer General

AN ANALYSIS OF TRIBALISM INREGARD TO THE CURRENT TENSIONS SOCIALLY WITHIN THE UNITED STATES BETWEEN REASON & REISTANCE

2010-03-23T09:30:00.003-05:00

Throughout human history there have been ebbs and flows in an illusory condition known as prosperity. As a historian I take note of the misery that befell Europe in the 11th and 12th Centuries due to the fear of disease. I also take note of the Great Slump of the 1920s and 30s a great global Depression on Terra that cost millions of lives and affected the livelihoods of billions. To have an understanding of how people respond to the difficulties of prosperity's removal one has to go back to the fundamental elements of human organization—the tribe.

My species, Homo sapiens sapiens is remarkable in that it not only determined, like many animals, that organizing into hierarchical groups provided for a great likelihood of survival, but that these groups could be organized to create comfort and prosperity for a tribe at the expense of others. No other species on Terra does this with the brutal effectiveness that is brought to bear by Homo sapiens sapiens because of the nature of tribal organization and the prize being offered for being at the top of the tribal pyramid. At the top of the tribal pyramid of course is wealth, better mating choices and healthier food. Those material things are all covered under the rubric of "Comfort." This is the blanket upon which the true golden prize rests—Power.

Power allows for a tribe, which can be identified in many ways by actions or attributes, to control, or for lack of a better phrase, sociologically subjugate, another not merely out of militant anger but for profit and comfort. This economic profit and psychological comfort has a value to all members of the tribe that is in power, no matter their station in life, and is distributed in as unequal a manner as possible—randomly. It may appear that some of the least educated and least worthy individuals lay claim to this power and, using the United States from the post-Reconstruction era to the election of Barack Obama as an example, have used it to take lives, restrict freedoms and to entrench the elites of their tribe in their places at the trough from which this Power flows. The operative word in that statement is "claim."

I have been asked to apply my ideas to the current socio-political situation in the United States. Never in history was their ever a more fertile soil in which to plant, grow and harvest the innumerable reactions that tribes used to prosperity and Power resulting from that prosperity being reduced to common comfort and the Power being taken away altogether. The TEA Party is a reaction to the tumult caused in the economy by the thievery of elite bankers [ another tribal discussion for another time] and the tribal war seared fear that remains in the minds of millions of adults over the age of 65 of people who are not members of the tribe known simply as "white."

A common and juvenile mistake is often made by laymen and journalists alike in trying to consider the people who share a general commonality of melanin deficiency as a "race" or worse as a cultural monolith. People who are considered "white" are as culturally, economically, religiously and politically as diverse as Negroes, Latinos or Asian people. The fallacy of race in this case tends to stop the discussions of what the words mean and how they are used to further burden other tribes. "White" is a tribe when it relates to being anything other than "Black." The word descriptor itself is used to offer choices to the minds of the observer: good over evil, work over laziness, romance over rape, honor over dishonor, purity over filth; I could go on in this way for quite some time. The end result is that the same as has been said and can be attributed to social scientists throughout the last century, the need to be called opposite humanity's worst traits is a perceived Power multiplier down the social scale for the people who consider themselves to be, and are accepted as, "white."

What is taking place in America today involves a tribe within the tribe of those "whites." These people I call "resistors" are those who are literally insulators against progress and change. They are by no means a minority within the tribe of people that have self anointed as "white." You know these people as uber-religious, easily frightened and illiterate in the matters of other cultures or other tribes and how their cultural narrative is harmonically similar to their own. Top these "resistors" their failings are seen as tradtions and their successes are often credited to a mystery God that has poured out his affection to them. Resistors do not and will not change their values because they are "chosen." "Resistors" will not bargain with other tribes choosing to tolerate them instead within a multicultural milieu like the United States. They are not racists generally because they have little power directly other than that of a business they own themselves or of a town in which they may hold some law enforcement position. However, their actions on behalf of their tribe, socially, makes most of them bigots. For the most part these "Resistors" are harmless but there are those among them that are violent, vocal and vicious.

I had the pleasure recently of dining with the Editor-in-Chief of this paper and his lovely wife. This article that I was writing became a topic of discussion and some of the theories that I have as to why you see such a vocal outpouring of resistance from the "Resistors" manifest itself once again as it did during the Civil Rights Era of the 1960s. In the times of the Neanderthal Man, when the able men would go out to hunt in lean times, the women in the tribe that were bound by the most power hunters, the elites, would tell tales of horrible tribes of "others" that would slaughter their men and then come back to take over the tribe if harm ever came to the top hunters. The people who were frightened by those stories of subjugation, hunger, brutal slavery, rape and child murder in those times at fireside are little different from the people who know nothing of what is being debated in the American Congress today except that some tribal elite, on Fox News, instilled some manner of fear in their hearts. "The other is coming to take your children, to steal your possessions to overthrow the status quo—Resist!" This is what they hear the facts no longer matter only their comfort and their perception that by their nature they are endowed by God to possess Power.

Kenton Hill, Order of the Quartz Heart [Eng.], ArF. Soc.,
Santayana Chair of Torture History
at the Universijte Di Dis
Chief Historian,
Office of the Torturer General
196 High Lux Negro 2 AS

THE OFFICE OF THE TORTURER GENERAL ISSUES A GENERAL ALERT FOR THOSE TRAVELING TO MEXICO, TERRA

2010-03-07T08:30:00.003-06:00

Haxax Carnido, Hellac Torturer General has issued the following statement regarding young Humans traveling to mexico over the "Spring break" holiday:

"The Office of the Torturer General issues this statement with the authority of Her Royal Highness Ang'ki Hoor I; no one traveling to Mexico over the Spring break annual holiday should ever interact with anyone who confronts them out of uniform claiming to be a member of the Federal Police. Be always aware of your surroundings. Remain in gender diverse groups. While it is impossible to assure total safety for the Living, it is the recommendation of this office that parents strongly deter their offspring from vacationing in Mexico this year. Those who do go their and ignore the warnings regarding travel outside those zones frequented by Americans or those who consort with those promising drugs for purchase do so at the peril and punishment of their Soul."

More information on how to stay safe in Mexico this spring can be found here at the Muhlenberg Weekly.

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Communications Director
Office of the Torturer General
180 High Lux Negro 2 AS

TG HAXAX CARNIDO LAUDS THE HAITIAN GOVERNMENT FOR ITS SWIFT ACTION IN ARRESTING THE 10 THEOCRAT CHILD TRAFFICKERS

2010-02-05T05:58:00.002-06:00

In a statement issued early this morning Torturer General Haxax Carnido said the following:

"I am deeply pleased that another base element of race driven theocracy in the United States of America has been exposed. A great well of positive karma will flow toward the people of America now that these theocrats who were trying to steal children from the nation of Haiti for their own profitable ends have been detained. This office is proud of the Laal Hethri agents that assisted in the background work to identify these criminals and in how they alerted the Dominican customs forces. A job well done all around. Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil! Praedexu teocratje!"

The Laal Hethri, still conducting and investigation into the ten American Baptist "missionaries" and are focusing on Laura Silsby, 48 of South Boise, Idaho who has a long history of financial failures and a recent financial collapse that would be the root of her desire to sell stolen children to anyone to get cash. In a curious twist an agent of the Laal Hethri speaking on condition of anonymity said, "I honestly believe that the members of Central Valley Baptist Church were dupes in this whole thing. but you see madam the problem with these 'non worldly' religious types is that they will believe anyone who says they have the same worldview."

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Communications Director
Office of the Torturer General
150 High Lux Negro 2 AS

ISDRIX ON JOHN FARREN, BUSH DEPUTY COUNSEL IS, "THE EPITOME OF RICH WHITE TRASH."

2010-01-09T06:34:00.003-06:00

The Torturer General has asked the Laal Hethri to deepen and widen the investigation into the life of John Michael Farren form deputy White House Counsel in the George W Bush administration. The departure of Mr. Farren from his position within the White House in October 2008 as reported this morning in The New York Times is still unresolved considering he never found full time employment despite his youth and gold star resume as an effective attorney and political campaign administrator. TG Haxax Carnido said in his statement of 122 high lux negro 2 as, "There is considerable nuance and detail here that is known by a select few and has not been exposed to the sterilizing light of observation. In cases like these where grave physical and emotional harm have been caused to a souse and to children by one who would take brutal action as Mr. Farren has done against his wife, Mary Margaret Farren, the use of our considerable resources are clearly warranted. I am appointing a six demon task force to 'shake the trees' and interview all who are willing to talk to us and our Human operatives in Washington about John Farren's real personality vice the false face he put on to maintain a sense of dignity before those who could damage his lifestyle."

Over the last five years TG commissioned investigations have led to the exposure of over 2 600 scandals on 45 known worlds. One of the most widely known to the Hellac citizenry is the ongoing probe into the C Street house group know as the Fellowship, or "The Family." Carnido has been quoted many times as saying, "I will do to the Family what J Edgar Hoover did to the Mob with the help of millions of decent American citizens."

When asked about the incident and the paternit of Farren's four mothn old daughter by a reporter from the Sheol Deciever at his press conference at Butcher's Garden, Laal Hethri Director General of the Skies Nuulo Isdrix said, "Infidelity never hs been and never will be a green light for anyone to do bodil harm to another. We are still investigating the matter in regard to Mr Farren's Soul and to Mrs Farren's actions. My opinion so far is that this is just another tragic case of a smart and beautiful Human woman being emotionally abused and brutalized by a cowardly, pugnacious and petty man that is the epitome of rich white trash."

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Communications Director
Office of the Torturer General
123 High Lux Negro 2 AS

LAAL HETHRI REPORTS; KRISTY LEE ROSHIA DELUSIONAL NOT POLITICAL

2009-12-23T07:51:00.003-06:00

For immediate release . . .

Kristy Lee Roshia

Kristy Lee Roshia has been in the custody of Federal authorities since Saturday after she made threats to kill First Lady Michelle Obama. Several news outlets here in Hell have been reporting that the Laal Hethri has had no comment on any help they offered or any actions behind the scenes they took to assure this delusional woman was captured before any harm could come to the first family. The Office of the Torturer General also has no comment on any current investigations at this time beyond its happiness that Roshia is no longer a threat and that this is a case of mental illness not a case of political vengence.

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Communications Director
Office of the Torturer General
106 High Lux Negro 2 AS

THE OFFICE OF THE TORTUER GENERAL IS PLEASED WITH THE DECISION IN THE HATE SPEECH CASE OF BILL WHITE

2009-12-19T09:26:00.005-06:00

Neo Nazi bigot Bill White was found guilty of making threats against four of the seven entities which accused him in a Roanoke, Virginia courtroom yesterday. Like Hal Turner I had a digital run in with White during the early days of the coverage of the Channon Christian/Christopher Newsom murder case. Here is the comment he left:

No need to spew your phony mass-produced pseudo-rebellion at me. Save it for your imagined enemies in the "Religious Right" or whatever trendy, media-managed cause you've decided to join tonight.

Well that's Hal Turner and Bill White in the pokey. Can a Randall Terry RICO conviction be far behind???

The Torturer General Haxax Carnido issued the following statement, "Today Justice in its greatest sense was served by a jury in the Commonwealth of Virginia to protect the Union against those who hate it and would kill int the name of racial animus. Bill White and those like him cannot ever be productive members of a diverse multicultural society because as race thinkers they see themselves as the final arbiters of a Justice in which they do not believe. We await our time to judge and punish him here in Hell."

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Communications Director
Office of the Torturer General
102 High Lux Negro 2 AS

TORTURER GENERAL HAXAX CARNIDO WAS IN ON FROSTY THE INAPPROPRIATE SNOWMAN JOKE

2009-12-08T15:07:00.003-06:00

The Office of the Torturer general was in on the joke played by the Director of the Laal Hethri earlier this afternoon. General of the Skies Nuulo Isdrix reported on what he called a major breakthrough in "The War on Chrsitmas." The highest ranking law enforcement demon in Hell then proceeded to play a clip from CBS advertising "Two and a Half Men" and "How I Met Your Mother."

Torturer General, Haxax Carnido released a brief statement, "Yes I was in on the gag that was hatched early this morning. For once the Directat Javeth Nathux, the Laal Hethri and my office all worked to keep a secret for more than 17 seconds."

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Communications Director
Office of the Torturer General
91 High Lux Negro 2 AS

TRANSCRIPT OF COMMENT REGARDING THE MOHLER SEX ABUSE CASE

2009-11-20T05:49:00.003-06:00

As a group we are meeting today with Her Royal Highness Ang'ki Hoor I to discuss several events taking place across the American province of Missouri. In the last several years there have been accusations of crimes committed that have the odor of Shai'tanism about them. Many of these cases are yet to go to trial but the evidence gathered by our agents on Terra point clearly to the guilt of those accused. In the most recent case, however, being tried in the media is the case of the Mohler family of Bates City, Missouri. As those tasked with carrying out both the sentences and gathering the intelligence to protect Souls against wrongful accusation this case is most disturbing to all of us. We implore all parties to take each and every new development in this case with a grain of sulfur and a grain of oxide. Finding pornography in a man's home does not make him a pedophile. When physical evidence goes beyond the stages of accusation and by this I mean the discovery of human remains beyond the few bones that have been uncovered from the farm this group and those tasked to speak for us will have more to do in assuring the Free Citizens of Hell that no one who escapes the Justice of Men will escape the Justice of Hell. I cannot make any plainer my intention that if these men are found guilty in a Terran Court this will only be the foundation of their trial here in Hell. If these allegations are found on Terra to be false and Jeanette Cyr has been lying to reap some sort of revenge against her ex husband her punishment will be at least equal to that of these men if they were to be found guilty. As always the Truth lies in gray matter of the Sentient. On their dates of departure from the 1st life we will all swiftly and surely know the Truth; to quote that heroic member of the bar Jim Garrison, "Fiat justitia et ruant coeli." Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Haxax Carnido, O.B.R.E., O.Q.H
Directat Praedaxu Generalju
73 High Lux Negro 2 AS

HELL VS TERRA WEEK 3; DIANE VALENCEN

2009-09-17T04:50:00.002-05:00

I am stunned and humbled by the performance over the first two week. I like football and I think this is a lot of fun but I can only express my feelings about this contest in terms of this. My spouse veronica had never shown any interest in American football until I came home and said I was winning [so far] this contest. Now I've been a football [ soccer] fan for ages and I watch Once Caldas matches with her when they come through on GOL TV. Now that's our Sunday thing soccer. Our Saturday thing invovles jerseys, subs, chips beer and a brand new Nike football which Veronica wants to learn how to kick and throw. Maybe in marriage the second time is the charm. Okay enough about how gushingly happy marriage has made me. Now on to the business of fun!

Pinnacle 05 h 41 m HST/EDT 17 Sep 09.

TOLEDO + 21 [-110] Ohio State

AUBURN -7[-113] West Virginia

Cincinnati -1 [-105] OREGON STATE

PITTSBURGH -7 [-110 ] Navy

CENTRAL FLORIDA -4 [-107] Buffalo

North Texas +38 ½ [-110] ALABAMA

TEXAS -17 ½ [-106] Texas Tech

Florida International over 52 [-104] RUTGERS

Tulsa+17 ½ [-102] OKLAHOMA

Northwestern - 3 ½ [+106] SYRACUSE

Diane Valencen, D.S.V.J., O.Q.H [Journ.], ArF J., M.F.
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
9 High Lux Negro 2 AS

FROM THE DESK OF THE EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR; 135 HO'VISH 2 AS

2009-05-15T06:38:00.003-05:00

Discuss.

Diane Tomlinson
Editorial Page Editor
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork
135 Ho'vish 2 AS

OUR DOORS ARE OPEN WIDE TO YOUR SHEEP AND WHEN THEY LEAVE THEY ARE WOLVES BLIND WITH RAGE

2007-07-30T05:17:00.000-05:00

In my official capacity I have the luxury of being able to speak my mind on matters corporeal, practice my beloved art of torture for legitimate purpose in service to Empress Ang'ki Hoor I and enjoy an afterlife style that I would never have imagined under the rule of Shai'tan. Now many of you living humans are of a mind that you can hedge your bets with casual appearances at church or even through donating to charity. While both of these things are nice it will not ever wipe away the evil that you do against your fellow men. These are the matters that cost you flesh and blood and bone here in Hell. These are the reasons why there is such a need for apprentice torturers here in Dis that we are offering 10 aureus bonuses just for a human being to come and join our ranks in training.

The great bulk of those answering the call curiously are what many of you would call "evangelicals" on Terra and their conviction to punish their fervor to mutilate in the name of revenge against sin is truly touching. Most of these are women by an overwhelming 12 to 1 evangelical woman who sign up for out 100 day training cycle. A near 95% graduation rate and a swift advancement rate show the proclivity for violence that lies in their dead hearts. I have asked our researchers to give me data based explanations of why so many formerly married white women of all social classes flock to the campus at Illballoarn a few kilometers from the Forest of Crosses southwest of Dis. The answer is so simple that it is shocking. Many of these women, frustrated with how hollow their lives had become once dead and recorporealized into a vibrant and strong form of their youth decide to chuck all the notions of their Living Years. They are hot with the taste for revenge in their mouths and seeing the number of white America men falling to Hell by the hundreds an hour upon which they can with great relish hone their art I can expect there to be no slowing down of the number of women taking up the Veil of Capillaries and becoming Enlisted Torturers.

The top 5% of each class is invited to continue on to 45 days of advanced training which includes extending pain, bloodletting and specialized use of orifices for torture as well as the prudent use of electricity. Furthermore, the top ten of those advanced lessons course graduates are invited to become officers. At officer training far from the hustle and bustle of Dis in the remote and rural regions of the Barrier, the legendary torturers of the revolution indoctrinate our officer corps with the Methode Jucundi, the ancient art of gleaning physical pleasure from the suffering and humiliation of the tortured. There is no enrapturement, no ecstasy that a human being can be possessed of while living that can compare to the trance of the Jucundi. While touring the campus just last week I witnessed a woman begin to squirt bodily fluids in tight streams from every pore on her body; each emission an ejaculation that sent fiery instructions of orgasm to her brainstem. I was overcome with joy.

I point to these events and our success at recruiting to make it clear to those like the Reverend Hagee and others who would herd humans as sheep for the purpose of making themselves comfortable economically while on Terra. We stand vigilant here in hell for the purpose of making you suffer for every copper sturnii that you steal from the pockets of the weak of mind and sick of Soul. Never underestimate the power of revenge false prophets for we turn our gold coin on the certainty that you cannot resist comfort. You have free will you should use it but if you don’t I would warn you many of our officers are addicted to the waves of pleasure they reap from your cries to end the pain and your wailing of having your entrails pulled through your tear ducts. You are so ill certain of Salvation that you hedge your bets with terrestrial comfort and in doing so you set in motion a series of horrors that only a Hellac Torturer can imagine.

"Death first! Then chi-chi!"

Qu’ul cuda praedex nihil!

Haxax Carnido O.B.R.E., O.Q.H
Directat Praedaxu Generalju
31 1 Leviathan 2 AS

IN THE NEW LIFE COMES MANY LESSONS

2007-05-08T17:52:00.000-05:00

One can learn alot by listening to the people that come into a tobacco shop. in the last 150 or so days Janice Pettibon has learned enough such that she could defend a Ph.D dissertation in "What the Afterlife entails." She has l;earned efficiencies that make the City of Rham a pleasant place to live. Many humans would call it the Las Vegas of Hell at it upper reaches where SanJean's™ Casino Hotel dominates the illuminated ruddy sky. Regular citizens with little to do with the gambling and high end prostitution that the high rollers enjoy would see the lower arrondissments much more like Los Angeles in the Post World War 2 era. It is in this region where Janice Pettibon dead only six months, swiftly learned the lessons of what being dead and in Hell means.

As much as she enjoyed her two bedroom apartment, Talshon Akmaniam's Smokeshop had become her home. The tired looking Ethiopian man had been in this business since he and his brother had died in the war against Mussolini in 1935. "I was gassed, so was my brother. I fell here to Hell and was happy to breathe again. There is nothing eklse to tell," Talshon said on the fourth day in the shop with Janice when she felt comfortable to ask questions.

By the start of Colnu, the last month in the Hellac calendar, Janice was ready to plunge into her cashier/assistant duties as a career. She made suggestions and Akmaniam nodded puffing on a cigarette rolled from a square of yesterday's Rham Frightener-Splatter and a mixture of night grown Turkish and Bulgarian black that was farmed on the property of Lord Just Mandier himself. Soon she had noticed the shop next door shuttered and dark but very roomy and wondered to Talshon if he would be interested in opening a cafe that served tea and coffee and homemade sandwiches.

This made the Ethiopian put down his paper and take a long drag off his half done hand rolled smoke on that steamy Friday morning. "I could do with a nice cup of tea," was his only reaction. Taking this as the assent that it was, Janice went to the growler which she was still quite afraid of, and pushed on the small animal's belly the numbers that corresponded with "611" information in Hell.

Within that next hour, on the morning of 3 Colnu, she had found out that the building was for sale and had developed a plan to transform it into a place she and her boss could be proud of. In the coming days I will tell you of the comfort Janice Pettibon has found amongst the chaos and the love she has found in the midst of Eternal Death.

Kenton Hill, Order of the Quartz Heart (Eng.)
Santayana Chair of Torture History
at the Universijte Di Dis
Chief Historian,
Office of the Torturer General
100 Colnu 1 AS

THE WONDERS OF RHAM; SETTLING IN FOR A NEW LIFE

2006-12-26T10:06:00.000-06:00

"Shocked." said Janice Pettibon at meeting her grandmere Marsalene Deseveaux in a crowded apartment building in Rham's 10th arrondissment. The woman who taught her how to bake cookies when she was five was now a stripper and a very popular one in one of Rham's many casino lounges. It wasn't as Janice had expected spending eternity relaxing and reminiscing with with the mother of her mother. Deseveaux was living the life she had given up for family, children, and home for every day of her 79 year life. It took Janice Pettibon two days to realize she would not be able to afford to live in the 10th arrondissment. Rents ran as high as h!3 ($US 2000, £ 1024.20) per month. Janice Pettibon needed to get a job so on her fourth day in Hell she went out looking.

She couldn't deal blackjack or the Hellac card game of choice Riposte! that involved three decks and progressive betting that gave her a headache to even attempt to calculate. Typing takes on a new dimension here and office work bored her to tears for the short amount of time she'd done it before getting married and becoming a housewife. There was very little chance of getting married in all the hustle and bustle she found as she drifted down the numbers toward the 17th Rondi. It was just a little too seedy and she settled on a place with a sign in the window that to her read "Help Wanted". Entering she saw all manner of pipes and jars filled with ground spices and oddly shaped leaves. The man at the counter stopped what he was doing, which was reading a foreign paper to say, "One hundred fifty denarii a day and smoke all you want of the stuff on the bottom shelves. You open on Mondays and Tuesdays and have Wednesday and Thursday off. I close the place for three weeks every Ravenshade and if you last until the next one they'll be paid weeks off. Any questions?"

"I'll take it. Do you know where I can find an apartment close by?" Janice asked.

"Yeah there's a place a block up that's h! 1.5 a month with only a 500 d deposit. My brother owns the building."

Janice shook hands with Talshon Akmaniam an Ethiopian smokeshop owner who was happy just knowing that he would have another day off. The last young woman he hired had decided she wanted to get married and move up to the 1st Rondi with the man who said he loved her. He found out later form people in the neighborhood that she was on a shuttle heading out of town used and ashamed to return to her family. That happened alot in Hell and even more so on Rham where the wealthy preyed on the poor in a kind of sick sport. As Janice was about to find out the poor every now and then got a little of their own back.

Kenton Hill, Order of the Quartz Heart (Eng.)
Santayana Chair of Torture History
at the Universijte Di Dis
Chief Historian,
Office of the Torturer General
216 Low Lux Negro 1 AS

THE ANN COULTER STADIUM UPDATE 1

2006-12-22T20:40:00.000-06:00

Have you ever asked yourself what your world would look like without America. One day America will pass away as Rome did and the Han did and the Maya. Great powers at the peak of their decline always feel their existence is Eternal. Nothing dear lady, on Terra is Eternal. America will pass into history, either sooner, or later it matters not. Terra will continue to spin on her axis and it shall continue to circuit Sol long after the current fad of government, America, Islam and Mankind are all whispers the blowing mist of the mighty Pacific makes upon the unpopulated shore.-- The Fate of Terra, Letters to the Blind--Haxax Carnido

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Seats are being installed today in the massive 528,500 seat Ann Coulter Stadium at The Crosslands ™. The stadium is an open air facility with a synthetic turf surface with a crucifix post mound located in the centre of the pitch. A large tunnel tall enough to accommodate the Gorgon Os'Qar at the South End of the stadium floor has been fully completed with its lighting having been tested today. Private boxes which will rent for h!100 per year have already been booked in full with all fifty two of them being drawn for in a lottery this past week. Field level passes will be auctioned in a prize lottery that has brought the Crosslands Building Fund ™ over h!600,000 in revenue. 88% of these monies have gone into the accommodations for fans at field level. The six luxury boxes, which rent for h! 100 per production {note there are three productions per day 06h45m, 12h00m and 18h00m} have been finished and can easily fill all the needs of torture fans who wish to have a once in an Eternity experience. No request will go unfulfilled from the choice of food and drink to the physical contact needs of those fortunate enough to have a chance to witness Justice of the Highest Order.

We look forward to serving you soon and will welcome you to the facility grand opening on 1 Colnu 1 AS.

Hàxax Carnido, O.B.R.E., O.Q.H
Directat Praedaxu Generalju
212 Low Lux Negro 1 AS

THE FIRST FORAY OUT

2006-11-19T20:32:00.000-06:00

Janice Pettibon boards the ferry to cross the same bloody terrifying Callugo Sea she'd fallen into not five hours before. In that time she had seen things that would have caused her to heave and run screaming while she was alive. Life, on Terra, seemed like a hazy foreign land for Hell was so full of dark illuminations and clear answers to mysterious questions. This time she sat fully clothed with a snack freshly purchased from the galley her first taste of Hellac fare, a bulb of screamfruit juice and diced leepoo wrapped in kelava leaf. It was almost as traditional as the speech given to each new entrant. Leepoo, akin to chicken in practically every sense of the meat and totally unlike the Terran staple in appearance is so familiar in taste and texture that many who munch this snack find themselves weeping in short order. Janice Pettibon was just that sort of human. Her belly full and her thirst slaked for the mean time, Janice wandered the deck of the Hellac Imperial Ferry Dustcloud meeting people and talking to the ones that would meet her gaze. More than once she was frightened by someone who scowled and their eyes seem to glow. Several people were being held close by those just as unscrupulous in Hell as they had been on Terra seeking to appear helpful to share in the new found wealth of their friend.

A man from Michigan, a woman from the Czech Republic, two children from Baghdad. Lots of people from Baghdad actually. Curiously Janice noticed that none of them harbored any resentment for her as an American. All of that at least within this group she thought as she walked up the ladder to the weather deck was gone. In a small room with no door to block its entryway were several wooden seat arranged before what looked like an altar. A podium stood in each corner and two of them were occupied by people who she had seen earlier. Janice went to the wooden podium to her right and watched as the other people sat on the benches looking toward the pictures on the far pale blue wall she couldn't quite make out in the ripple of the humid air. The entire surface of the podium was a computer screen and as soon as Janice Pettibon stood before it the monitor sprung to life.

"Welcome Janice Pettibon, to the history of the United Hellac Empire," a soft female voice cooed from the speakers at the base of the pedestal. For the next hour Janice used the touchscreen to move about the recent history of the Constitutional Monarchy that Hell has become under the rule shared by the people through Parliament and Here Imperial Hellac Majesty Ang'ki Hoor I and her Consort, Pain. Upon seeing it Janice stepped back from the podium and blinked. She listened to the explanation of what Pain is and was and shall be but could not would not grasp that so many emotions, so much knowledge could be sheltered in such a phenomenal creation.

Her head full of the knowledge of the Empire, the death of Shai'tan, and the coronation of the child empress she watched from the railing as blood mist sprayed up over the fo'c'stle and beaded in little pools on the gunwales. She could see the port far in the distance growing larger and brighter. Blue lights grew in the distance and overhead Janice could feel a presence in the ruddy clouds flickering in the black light.

The ship docked and the 600 or so passengers shuffled off seeking onward passage. Signs seemed to be in English for her, Arabic for the Iraqis and Czech for the slim blond woman from Praha. It was at this point that a noise startled Janice as she matched her key to a fare to Rham the city state where her grandmother lives. She turned to look and there were two Iraqi children with an Iraqi woman. They had found their mother across the great gulf of death and resurrection and the three of them stood at the port of entry to the mainland of Hell the desert that separated the Callugo Sea from the City State of Rham & Its Shadow. They were reunited and they all hugged and laughter was the noise that had startled Janice Pettibon. She shifted her ruck and walked out to the platform stand. Three minutes later a flat slab of what looked like concrete came to a soundless stop. It bore forty molded orange bench seats. A set of three stairs appeared and she walked up them and took a seat. Only a moment seemed to pass before the platform moved again without sound away from the terminal and on an unseen road the structure banked and climbed skyward.

Half an hour passed maybe a bit more before Janice saw the first yellow glow through the crimson of the clouds. Now she and the rest of the passengers were among the clouds but the thick accumulations just seemed to be parted by their conveyance. She almost stood when the cloud layer passed and the floating city of Rham appeared above blocking all else from view. She recalled in a stunning flash of memory the Emerald City from the Wizard of Oz. And then it was gone replaced by the majestic massive place where her grandmother lived.

Kenton Hill, Order of the Quartz Heart (Eng.)
Santayana Chair of Torture History at the Universijte Di Dis
Chief Historian to the Office of the Torturer General
179 Low Lux Negro 1 AS

WELCOME TO HELL

2006-11-06T07:19:00.000-06:00

Let me introduce myself, I am Kenton Hill, Curator of the Dis Cultural and Historical Museum. Santayana Chair of Torture History at the Universijte Di Dis. Chief Historian to the Office of the Torturer General. In this official capacity I have been tapped to give you the living a look inside what arriving in hell will be like since a staggering 99.97% of all the living human beings have come here after the termination of their life on Terra. To date 61, 704 humans have died and not have their souls sent here for recorporealisation. We cannot say with any measure of certainty where these human beings have gone but we have an idea that it involves harps and alot of hymn singing. One hundred eighty nine human beings went there in the entirety of the 20th Century and three of them were Popes of the Universal Catholic Church. But let us deal with the average Joe and Jane so to speak.

Every minute on Terra 107 people die. By quirk of Fate, the landing zone for human beings in over the blood red Callugo Sea a body of water thrre times larger than the Caspian Sea (457,000 sq mi) shaped roughly like the state of New Jersey. The Callugo Sea is bordered by Hades to the West and the Shadow Desert of Rham-nejd to the east. Fifteen hundred miles from the coastal lands of the Shadow Desert lies Serratoth Island a rocky crag about two and a half times the size of Delaware and shaped like a peach pit. In the Callugo Sea waiting for the splashdown of new entrants to Hell is the Flotilla of the Hellac Empire. Their soul purpose under the direction of Fleet Admiral "Justice" John Porter (1689-1734)is to not lose the new entrants to the billions of ravenous creatures that make the Callugo their feeding ground. Without going into much gory detail, which would be a violation of Hellac Imperial Law, the Callugo is prowled foremost by Leviathan which breaks the surface for air four times in a 2200 day Hellac year. Next on the food chain are shark like sentient creatures known as the Geleheshtarane. These will eat anything and do especially desire human flesh. The remains are the various bony three and four eyed fish not to exclude the massive brainfish which can weigh as much as 5000 pounds but are relatively docile. And of course swimming in the bloody Callugo Sea are the brainless children of humans, fetuses in fetu, and all results of abortions seeking a bite of the flesh that caused their demise with newly grown razor sharp teeth. I have seen a pack of these shredded infants tear a brainfish to ribbons and sprays of rheumy life giving fluids in a matter of fifteen seconds. Well I guess that covers that.

So now you know the where let's deal with the how.

From a height of 400 feet or so you awaken after death stark naked as the day you are born and you are falling through reddish brown and orange clouds. If it wasn't so terrifying most people would think the descent was quite a beautiful experience. From my own very vivid experience it is difficult to breathe during this period making the fifteen second descent feel like forever. And just as you think the horror of your death has been a lie and this is your true death you break the hot wet surface of the Callugo Sea and feel the first bites of unseen teeth. At that moment a strong hand or hands are around your shoulders and you are hauled aboard a vessel of sometype. In my case I was brought aboard a three masted corvette though others may be hauled upon a brigantine and some even in longboats.

Now you are coughing up the foul red waters that had filled your mouth and nose and you scramble for any handhold you can find on the slick deck. you hear voices that make no sense at first but then the water rushes from your ears and you hear in your own language of Terra the first thing that rings with any definition. "You are now a citizen of the United Hellac Empire with all due right accorded therof until the determination of your crimes weighing upon your own immortal soul and your complicity, or that of your forbears in the cause of suffering of others. Welcome to Hell."

At that point someone or something has come to you with water and a towel and they have run a box across your forehead to find out who you are, what you or your generations blood related have done and where you need to be taken. There is much good news for this person we are tracking whom we now know is Janice Pettibon who died just this morning in the United States after battling an aggressive form of carcinoma. Janice, 39 was not resucitated at 0400h CST in her own home where she chose to come three days ago to die. Ms. Pettibon is survived by three girls and a husband all of which feel she is no longer suffering. They are right for like most people who come here Janice is not an evil or generally sinful person she just was not up to the nearly impossible standards of the Other Place. She is alert and like everyone else who comes to Hell she is terrified.

Her first contact will be with the Officer of the Watch who using a handheld computer documents every arrival and explains in very brief detail where they will be going. "Serratoth Island processing center is next for you. There are no generational liens against your soul and you will be free to depart the island after processing." the tall thin woman walks away and explain to the next person standing on the deck. Some very ill fitting and scratchy clothes are passed out and Janice dons the brown pants and hospital type scrub shirt also shit brown. She is given a cup of cool water again and instructed to walk single file to the boat where the green arrow is flashing over it. She sees it in the dark distance and complies.

Our new arrival soon finds herself whisked across the sea toward Serratoth Island. the boat docks after a twenty minute ride and the 100 or so souls aboard disembark. Janice is given a rucksack with better fitting clothes, two pairs of sandals, red cotton pants seven pairs, seven pairs of boxer shorts, one bar of soap, seven tee shirts, a comb, a brush and a self saturating toothbrush. Her boat's occupants are herded into a room and shown a film that lasts for seventeen minutes explaining what has happened to them in much greater detail. As is expected half of the people there vomit up their water and gag much of the remainder begin to cry. Janice is weeping. Two demons trying to not look as menacing as they are open the doors and with soothing voices urge the arrivals to follw them toward the Central Processing area. Here they fill out forms and are given their first and only handout of money in Hell, a golden aureus.

An aureus will generally pay for a year's worth of rent for a one bedroom apartment in any major city in Hell. Janice Pettibon is then sent to a room that is full of computer portals. Here she is told that she can lookup anyone she knows that has died so that she might connect to family or friends that could help her get a start on her afterlife. Janice types in the name of her maternal grandmother Lynn Heddings and finds that the woman is living in a place called Sheol one of the many city states in the Hellac Empire. The computer terminal explains to janice in a female voice that the next platform for Sheol departs in thirty minutes from Platform A-16-North and the cost is 15 denarii, or about 4% of the money she has. The terminal also prompts her to deposit the coin in a slot and receive a banking key, a thin sliver of feldspar with a chip embedded in it. This key is your ID, ATM card, public transport multipass, phonecard, voter card, and passport all in one. It is the only thing in Hell that is impossible to use as it is tied to your retinal prints, fingerprints and brain wave patterns. Janice laughs for the first time in Hell when she drops the index finger sized key and it floats back to her hand.

She gets a negagraph printout of directs to the platform and directions to her grandmother's apartment shoulders her ruck wiping the tears from her cheeks and sets out with three dozen other newly adjusted arrivals.

Tomorrow: Janice's first full day of wonder and amazement in Hell.

Kenton Hill, Order of the Quartz Heart (Eng.)
Santayana Chair of Torture History at the Universijte Di Dis
Chief Historian to the Office of the Torturer General
166 Low Lux Negro 1 AS

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LIVING SOULS OF TERRA FROM TORTURER GENERAL HAXAX CARNIDO, OBRE, OQH

2006-10-25T09:43:00.000-05:00

I would like to take this time to welcome you to an experiment long in the making. My office one of the busiest and more important in the government of the Hellac Empire, serves Pain, the Majordomo of Hell & Terra, seeks to offer insight to the living human population upon the verdant face of Terra. So through these pages we will keep you up to date on methods of torture used to punish those sent to Hell who do not enjoy the freedom of Eternal Afterlife, but of Eternal Damnation. Over time you will come to understand the daunting tasks we face and some of the engineering puzzles we have to solve.

I hope that we can come to understand each other better through this exchange of ideas and I hope you will be open and forthcoming with queries, comments and criticisms.

In the name of the Empress, Ang'ki HoorI and her divine mandate to rule Hell with her Eternal Partner, Pain, Knight Slayer of Shai' tan, Majordomo of Hell and Terra, Order of the Black Rose of the Empire, Ayatollah of Rham and its Shadow, Fair Judge Executioner of Souls, Lord Gaoler of Dis, Oracle of Elections, Lord High Justice of the Court of Acts & Merits, Keeper of the Keys of all the Gates of Hell, Qadi of Hades, Chamberlain Imperial of the Necropontiff, Count-Palatine of Sheol, Marquis di Gehenna, Emperor Consort, White Rod, President Pro tempore Bax Culdnu., I Haxax carnido open this blog on this date 154 Low Lux Negro in the First Year after the Casting into Oblivion of the Deceiver, Shai'tan.

Qu'ul cuda praedex nihil!

Haxax Carnido, O.B.R.E., O.Q.H
Directat Praedaxu Generalju
154 Low Lux Negro 1 AS